Author Archives: laurenspitzberghumorousillustrationofthezeitgeist

More Layoffs Coming To LA County Courts

This is what happens when Marty Singer controls the police,prosecutors, and judges.

CBS Los Angeles

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LOS ANGELES (CBSLA.com) — A fresh round of layoff notices will be delivered on Friday to hundreds of Los Angeles County court employees.

KNX 1070’s Claudia Peschiutta reports more than 500 county court positions will be eliminated due to budget concerns.[cbs-audio url=”http://cbsla.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/court-cuts-cpe-1.mp3″ size=”” download=”” name=”More Layoffs Coming To LA County Courts ” artist=”Claudia Peschiutta”]

Approximately 177 workers will lose their jobs, nearly 140 others will receive demotions and pay cuts, and around 200 more will be transferred to other locations.

Gwendolyn Jones, a Los Angeles Superior Court Clerk and president of AFSCME Local 575, expects some union members will be impacted.

“The uncertainty of not knowing is very, very stressful on all of us,” Jones said.

The cuts come as part of an effort to trim $85 million from next year’s budget.

A plan to restore approximately $100 million in cuts to 58 trial courts…

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Nancy Grace, super anchor, and former malicious prosecutor- a story with strange pictures

you spelled illustration wrong, dear.

Alisa Spitzberg's badass blog

nancygracelaurenNancy Grace as illustrated by Lauren Spitzberg

Nancy Grace, will be our master of ceremonies for this post:  former corrupt prosecutor in Georgia,vengeance junkie, exculpatory evidence despiser, and guilty as charged advocate, Nancy Grace, will introduce her peers in malicious prosecution AKA over zealous and malicious self interest advocacy, in the name of the people, and with the money of the people.

First, up is Carlo Mignini, Italian sociopath, in justice seeking garb, as he behaves much more corruptly than the Mafia. The Mafia gangsters, don’t have higher educations, and they don’t railroad  innocent people like Amanda Knox(and if you don’t think she’s innocent, you haven’t bothered to learn the truth, or the truth means less than you getting to see a pretty girl in distress. Some will merely call such killers “overzealous,” or “moralistic.” I don’t think that has a thing to do with their prosecution of the innocent, in the vast…

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Ihowl- a poem and parody of our times– With apologies to Allen Ginsberg

 

iHowl- With Apologies to Allen Ginsberg

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I saw the best minds of my generation in chat rooms with the worst minds of my generation destroyed by bad Yelp reviews and a troll on Angies list after failed ebay auction bids dragging themselves through google adwords looking for SEO optimization while stirring to Katy Perry on Itunes.

Message t shirt donning hipsters burning for the extra cash to afford optimized DSL connections and proferring  emoticon responses to stave off acronym induced exhaustion. Sat up chewing nicotine gum in the LCD monitors earthy glow floating over contemplating the claims of  John Travolta’s latest disgruntled masseuses. Sober on Setraline who bared their brains to Yahoo after passing the CAPTCHA under a clever seeming screenname and saw Mohammedan menaces inspire the TSA to frisk them at LAX.

Who passed through University of Pheonix, that wasn’t even in Arizona, and with more debt and feeling like suckers hallucinating all inclusive Sandals resorts and (Robert)Blake’s tragic Piers Morgan interview among the scholars of the Huffington post who met deadlines but weren’t compensated according to the Drudge report for their crazy puff or partisan pieces who cowered in unshaven rooms in Ed Hardy boxers where their once firm buns dented by ergonomic computer  seats
wasting their money on E-machines at Amazon dot com   and listening in Terror through ear pods to Youtube’s gone viral while scanning TMZ, busted downloading movies returning through Laredo with a laptop full of Limewired Lady Gaga

Careless  exoduses from MySpace to Facebook without a qualm then to Twitter where they welcomed limited characters and embraced hash tags who ate tiramisu in boutique hotels or quaffed diet rock star energy drinks in while playing second life, death, or purgatoried their refurbished I-pad’s night after night with dreams, with prescription drugs, with waking nightmares, al-cohol and cyber cock and endless balls, endless texts, endless obsolescence,endless progress to nowwhere, endless transient connections, widgets, and clickable links incomparable websites of shuddering stillness

lightning in the mind leaping towards Venti Cups of 4 dollar Chai Latte Mochas to stay hopped for the mo-
tionless world of Fusion cuisine foodie blogs catered backyard American idol viewing party dawns, Mixologist rendered Mojito drunkenness over boroughs neon
blinking Trojan mal ware pop ups, sun and moon and tree vibrations lost to roaring winter dusk flip camera pics of Branson Misssouri and Facebook wall rantings and cruel king light of Nick Lacheys Twitter feeds.
who chained themselves to the newest Apps for the endless
GPS directed rides from Battery to gentrified Bronx to the Mall of America on Ritalin until the drone of Beiber Fever brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and
battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance
in the drear light of Maroon 5

 who sank all lunch money in subway sandwiches because of Jarrod’s weight loss and branding successes floated out and sat through the craft brewed beer afternoon in desolate franchised sports bars with two for one taco Tuesdays listening to the crack of doom on refurbish Super awesome Nintendos

who logged on continuously seventy hours from  Starbucks wifi hotspot to Coffee bean and tea leaf hot spot to Bellevue wine bar to Java Joes in Jamestown, and put museum pics on Pinterest, lost battalion of platonic non-conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills off Empire State out of the moon on super awesome Wii’s bought on craiglist

yacketayakking about issues issues issues and boundaries and breaking ties to toxic people screaming vomiting whispering journaling facts that are all “like literally awesome” and memories and anecdotes and DSM diagnosis’s, and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars and lost lunatics with ammo enough to make Greta Van Sustern sigh.
whole intellects disgorged in Guitar Hero
 and nights with restasis moistened eyes, smart water fed organic chicken served on 5.99 Artisinal Jalapeno loafs vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a
trail of ambiguous vids of Bravo’s famous housewives.

City Hall, suffering Eastern global warming sweats and Tangerian bone-grind-ings TMJ and migraines of shoddy China made products under junk food with-
drawal in Newark’s bleak wifi free Airport lounge

whose remote controls wandered around and around at midnight in the onscreen TV listings wondering where to go, and went to see talking heads yammering of broken hearts on CNN.

Who would never ever dare light cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars marketing snowboard brands toward lonesome farms father night, who studied Christina Auguillaras bad attitude on the Voice and bop kabbalah because the cosmos in-stinctively vibrated at their feet to trust Maddona Ciccone,who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking vis-ionary indian casino owners who might give them a break on the buffet who thought they only suffered from other  issues when  Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy during their stay at the everpresent Best Westerns, who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Okla-homa on the impulse of a winter advance I Max Twilight with a Robert Pattison apearance at a screenings who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz or sex or Food Network soup recipes and followed the brilliant marketing famewhore Spaniard , Jennifer Lopez,  to converse about Maria Carey as her replacement, a hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa, who disappeared into the Telemundo  of Mexico leaving behind nothing but the shadow of 200 hundred dollar New Religion jeans and Baja Fresh Burrito Wrappers  and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in firegrilled pesto pizzas in Chicago, who reappeared on the West Coast investigating if Kim Kardashian’s ass was artificially enhanced while wearing  goatees and cargo shorts with big pacifist
eyes sexless in their pasty skin passing out incom-
prehensible pyschobabble…

The original:

https://notes.utk.edu/bio/greenberg.nsf/0/6f7dd8b9270db5c585256d0d001e0a93?OpenDocument